Try hard

Hi.

Aku kerja dah sekarang.
And it's been 1 month and a half already.
Bukan senang. Bila dah masuk alam kerja baru tahu, bukan senang. Tapi takde lah aku nak cakap susah sangat sampai takleh buat. Aku masih boleh handle even though banyak gila silap.

Seriously this work is so tough for me. I don't know why 😭
Kekadang hari-hari nak pergi kerja tu rasa seriau gila. Hati rasa berdebar and I'm keep repeating ayat kursi and al fatihah to ease my heart all the way to the office.

I did mistakes and manager get mad at me. Whuaa. Dan kes besar pulak tu aku buat silap. I just don't know why am I doing that or actually if and only if I already know this is wrong I'll never doing it. It's clearly I don't know what happened and but I admit, there's some point is totally my fault. So what can I do is keep saying sorry to manager and everyone.

Ataupun maybe sebab aku baru lagi kot. Entah lah. Aku jumpa Arepp kejap je time kat pantry during 15 minutes break and then I cried. At that time baru je kena ambush dengan manager huhu. I endure my pain and tears time kena tegur tu tapi tak tahan bila dah jumpa member sendiri luls. I don't wanna cry in front of people tapi sebab tak tahan I just can't bare it.

I'm also having heart to heart talk with ejad regarding this matter. He said maybe I did try so hard to prove something. Prove what I don't know. But ergh. I can't sleep because of this. I kept thinking that this is my fault and I need to clear all the shits produce by me. Meh. Ejad said just relax and be cool. He always said that I am too young so it's okay for me to  make mistakes. There's a lot thing in front of me to endure and to joy instead of thinking about works all day.

So yeah, aku try. I'll try for the sake of patience, enhanced my technical skills, experience and also sharpen my English.

I'll try no matter what.

Till here.